Day 19 - 220.2

Down again this morning.

I may take the day off from the gym. We'll see how I feel later. Right now I'm feeling tired.

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1pm update. Still haven't gone to the gym. Still haven't made a decision if I'm going to go or not. I took both last Sat and Sun off from going. So, it's only been 3 days since my last day off. I really should go. Maybe just a 30 or 40 minute workout today. 60 minutes feels like an eternity today.

Also, I put my scale away today. The Gabriel Method recommends this. I've always weighed myself every day. This concept is hard for me to commit to. I've always believed that the scale keeps me honest. I've noticed lately that when I'm up in weight, I want to give up on this whole process. I want to see a weight loss EVERY DAY after I put in the effort. I didn't used to be like that. I'd take the number on the scale each morning as information. Nothing more.
Somehow I can't seem to do that anymore. It's messing with my mind now. I'm just looking for a reason to give up. Looking for a reason to binge. Looking for validation that I'm not going to succeed.

So, I put the scale away. Into the laundry room, under a table in the far corner with some stored massage supplies.

I'm still trying to decide when I should step on it again.