Day 13 - 218.4

Down again this morning. What a wonderful feeling.
Had a wonderful Reiki session yesterday. 1 hour long, worked on myself and a friend. (Jersey Girl) It was so relaxing , balancing and loving. I'm going to try to do Reiki at least 20 minutes a day minimum. It is the perfect "me" time. Combined with the gym and making better food choices, I feel so much more centered than I have in a long while. The switch that my brain needs to get healthy stays on when I put myself first.

Will post workout after the gym.

Got to the gym late, had to leave to pick up son from school. Stayed till the very last minute that I could. Biked my ass off.

32 minutes Recumbent bike
7.42 miles
200 calories
RPM 56

I took my before pictures today. I wish I would have taken them 13 days ago when I weighed 225+. Maybe I would have seen a small positive change.

I've been feeling smaller lately, feeling positive about the hard work I've been putting in, and instead the reality of those pictures that I took today slapped me in my face and I can't quit crying. Who the hell is that fat girl? I am so disgusted. I am so deflated. I'm TRYING to focus on the fact that I AM making progress, and I AM on track and doing well, but the reality of what I look like at this very moment has crushed my spirit. It fucking sucks.